Will!!

I will seek his will not his power!

A simple quote yet a really deep thought. I read it in a little book called “tale of two Kings”. I have had this thought on the tip of my mind all day. In every conversation and every deed I have done today. It has been haunting me, enticing me to enter into it presence.  Like the bull and the red flag, Saying I dare you to come close. I dare you to charge.

I don’t know how many times I have found my self on my knees screaming out to God to change my circumstances, my feeling, my heart, my mind, my strength and so on and so on. I have cried and cried for Gods power. For him to do something, for him just to show up. I have challenged him over and over. Claiming if you are there then move. Prove your God. I have tested God, Cursed Him, even yelled at him in anger. I have sought his power over and over. I am not proud just being honest. I am amazed that God still delights in me.

I will seek his will not his power!

In 1 Corinthians 13 the chapter on love it says this-

“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but I have not love, I gain nothing. 13:2

There is a way to have the Power of God and not be in his will. We seek it all the time. Weather it be insecurities that drive us, or glory and fame or what ever. The power of god is something I think we should be carefully on asking. Sometimes he gives it. And sometimes it is the very thing that destroys us.

David was a man who sought after God and God alone. Even when Saul tried over and over to kill him, he never took his eyes off God. Through trial after trial he never cursed nor sought revenge. He trusted in the Will of his father to bring him through. He trusted that god’s will was sufficient to sustain his life. He sought Gods will and in the end God raised him up made him a king gave him all his power and called him a man after his own heart. David never used the power that he was given to his gain but gave it back when the time came for his life to move on. Wow!

I am at a place in my life that the will Of God is the only thing I need. I can’t even say I am here on my own, cause that would be dishonest, but more so, say God has brought me here. I have tried this Christian faith for so long on my own. I am tired and my heart is broken. My mind is numb and my legs are weak. I have failed so many times, and yet the truth is that failure is still something I will most likely find in the future. I am excepting that this brokenness that God has been taking me through is somehow for his glory. That this unraveled lump of yarn will someday be woven into a beautiful blanket. I am trusting that god is not done with me yet. That his will is not yet complete and no matter the storm I hope I can sustain the test.

God Willing

 

I will seek your will not your power!

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3 responses to “Will!!

  • Linda

    Your struggle reminds me of a Keith Green song entitled “Until That Final Day”, here are the lyrics:

    My flesh is tired of seeking God,
    But on my knees I’ll stay.
    I want to be a pleasing child,
    Until that final day.
    My mind is full of many thoughts
    That clutter and confuse.
    But standing firm, I will prevail,
    In faith that I’ll be used.
    Amen! I’m asking once again.
    Won’t you help me my friend, Lord Jesus.
    Holy Lord Spirit, set us free,
    From chains we cannot see,
    Come release us.
    I wrestle not with flesh and blood,
    My fight is with the one,
    Who lost the keys of hell and death,
    To God’s most precious son.
    One sleepless night of anguished prayer,
    I triumphed over sin.
    One battle in the Holy war,
    God’s promised me to win.
    Amen! I’m asking once again.
    Won’t you help me my friend, Lord Jesus.
    Holy, Lord Spirit, set us free,
    From chains we cannot see,
    Come release us.
    My flesh is tired of seeking God,
    But on my knees I’ll stay.
    I want to be a pleasing child,
    Until that final day.
    —————————————————-

    The hard part of being a Christian is the waiting, is it not? But God is full of grace and will finish our faith.

    In Christ,
    Linda

  • kathy

    I feel like I am reading my own husbands thoughts. We are separated and I am not sure where we are heading. Thank you for sharing.

  • penny

    One more thing I like about David:

    He was the most documented, biggest screw-up in the bible, but was passionate about being a man after God’s own heart! It’s good to know that I’m not the only screw-up! They’re documented in God’s Holy Word!

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