The Bean of Crazy!

I am a lover of coffee! Some say I am obsessed a bit, not sure if it is the fact that I do not function properly in the morning until I get my cup or the fact that if I am driving down the road and see a coffee shop, it takes everything in me to keep my eyes on the road and keep driving. Not sure if any of you have ever seen a bugs life, but if you have and can remember a scene where the bug sees the light of the bug zapper “the light is so pretty” as his friends yell “look away” “don’t do it” zzzzzzzzztt!! Pretty much me in a nutshell. I have tried to wean myself from the gravitational pull of the bean goodness but lets just be honest, this is not going to happen. If it is true what they say about “you are what you eat” then I most defiantly am a coffee bean.

I frequent a local coffee shop not far from my house on a regular basis to read and write and just clear my head. I love to be in the hustle and bustle of people even if I do not know anyone. I think it is a just the comfort of knowing that I am not alone.

Speaking of not being alone there is this woman who is always at the shop who I believe is certifiably crazy. She sits in the middle of the coffee shop and has full conversions with herself or someone for that matter. She is always here, in fact if she is not it kind of throws me off a bit. Sometimes I wonder who she is talking to, if she can really see them, and if she really hears them talking back to her. I wonder what has brought her to this place of craziness. The thing is she seems to be having the time of her life, laughing and smiling and enjoying the company of her invisible friend/friends. It reminds me of the scene from Patch Adams where Patch is in the mental hospital and his roommate will not leave his bed because he is afraid the squirrels are going to get him, so patch proceeds to get an invisible gun and start shooting the squirrels. The scene goes on as patch and his roommate yell and laugh as they extinguish the invisible varmints and overcome his fear of squirrels. A beautiful scene of helping the helpless. I watch people in response to her as they realize she is crazy. I think she makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable, and rightly so it is not everyday you encounter people like her. It is a sobering reminder to know that God loves her as much as he loves anyone of us. I would like to believe that the person she is talking to is Jesus. Maybe he is wooing her, sitting with her, talking to her cause know one else will. I might never know whom she is talking to but I know that God is speaking to me. Teaching me to love the loveless. Teaching my heart to have compassion on the people whose lives are different than mine. Teaching me to open my eyes to see that he is moving in and around our lives like a raging fire.

There are a lot of broken people in this world, in fact I would say that all are broken, but only a few admit it. We like to believe we are all right, that we have it all together; it makes us feel better about ourselves. It’s all right to be broken! It’s there that we become who we are meant to be. It’s not until we can lay down our own efforts, pride and control and rest in the fact that God is the healer, the author of life, that we can experience life the way it was intended. At least I believe this to be true. I pray that God would do in us the things we cannot do for ourselves, that he would help us to trust that he knows better than our best thinking.


15 responses to “The Bean of Crazy!

  • lydiacole

    Thanks Shawn. I love your words. Timely.

  • Catarina

    great text. i have never thought of those people talking to Jesus, you know? the idea just made me think of the passage in the Bible where it says that not even crazy people would miss the way. God bless you, keep seeing Him in every day life.

  • Kelly Stevens

    So glad to see you blogging again Shawn. I have been praying for you for a long time, actually ever since you posted about “receiving some news that hit me so hard I truly felt I could not breath”. I still continue to pray for you and ask our Lord to comfort you and give you His peace that surpasses all understanding!

    I was blessed to be able top see you August 7, 2009 here in Tucson, Az (Oro Valley actually, just a hair outside of Tucson) and so enjoyed your show. I hope to be able to see you again sometime if you ever make it this way again.

    Oh and by the way if you ever wish to try some really good coffee go to the Kean Coffee website and order their – Guatemala Huehuetenango La Bolsa (direct link here>>> in my opinion it is the best coffee I’ve ever had!

    God bless you and your family!

    Because of Christ,

  • Kelly Stevens

    ^^^ that was supposed to say that “I was blessed to be able to see you …” not top see you *grin*

  • Alathea

    Thanks for sharing Shawn. It’s funny to see God in the most unusual circumstances. But its a reminder that He is there, always trying to show us something new and teach us something different. Everybody needs a little sunshine. may God continue to bless you always.

  • Ricky

    Maybe she is waiting to talk to you – have you spoken to her. I know, easier said then done…not calling you a wimp but I am.

    Where are you at these days – Oregon, Seattle, Ohio, Nashville? When is the next album dropping – looking forward to seeing what God has layed on your heart, your voice is soulful and the lyrics really give me peace. I especially liked some of the tracks off of Focal Point that weren’t on other CDs…”lead me on” and “rest” are fav’s.

    Anywho…take care brother, I have been praying for you.

  • olesja

    to love the loveless….

  • littlethaibird

    Loved reading this! You’ve been a favorite artist for a long, long time and I have to tell you, I saw you once in concert for a Youth Group event north of Portland, Oregon and something you said has always stayed with me. At the beginning of the concert and a girl yelled out, “I love you, Shawn!” and you took a moment and then graciously replied saying that you were there to worship God and no other reasons and encouraged everyone to do the same.

    Thank you for sharing your story, your life and your words of worship 🙂


  • Noel

    I agree with your statement that everyone is broken.
    That is me – broken. Yet, in the pain and discomfort there is a peace, and knowledge that this brokeness is a good place to be. A place of humility, that leads to oneness with God………….Thank you for sharing.
    be free

  • Jenny

    Great post! Glad to see you blogging again. Hope things are going well. Btw I am so excited for your new album in March. I heard “Closer” today and it’s a beautiful song. God bless you Shawn!

  • Lori Morse

    Shawn, Thank you for your words on brokeness.The other day I was so sad about Knowing God now for 20 years and yet seeing brokeness in my life. It seems I am the only one in groups, Friends that want to talk about it, Yes God has brought me much healing in my life to which I am now comfotable to call him Papa because of it He has drawn me near as a Papa would His Child because He was the only One who could comfort my pain.I felt Him say I use broken people if you are not broken, people see you not Me! Thank you Papa. Your words Shawn confirmed His word unto me
    Thank you for you raw Faith it will help others to not hide who they are on the inside! Papa loves US!

  • Linda

    I hope this woman is talking to Jesus too – I know I need to talk more to Jesus. You will never know who she is talking to unless you ask her – maybe you could ask her to introduce you to her friend, and buy her (and her friend) something from the coffee shop.

    This woman maybe frequents the coffee shop for the same reason you do, she does not like to be alone – after all ONE is a lonely number (but I heard sometimes two can be as bad as one, between humans that is)…

    Of course a Christian is never really alone, since the Holy Spirit is with them forever.

    May we all become closer to God, may we truly become one with Him.

    In Christ,

  • Hannah Wheeler

    thanks Shawn 🙂 This is such an incredible reminder… Yes.. I still peek in to see how you are doing! Heard your new song “closer” on the radio this week in Hawaii as I drove to work.. Hope all is well. If not, we still know that HE IS.

  • Melissa

    I have read many of your postings and relate so closely to your experiences. I discovered your music when hearing “Closer” on the radio and have been dancing for the Lord in private to this song. The cry of “Closer” is the same cry of my own heart – to draw closer to my Savior in the most deeply intimate way. I understand coming from a broken family and then repeating that in the context of my own dissolved marriage…many days I wonder if I will be free from the things that have been done to me and the things I have done. And yet God is freeing me daily, to love my children with a fierceness that I could not conjure up, to pursue my passion for dance as worship. The three decades of struggle that comprise my entirety of my life have given my love for Him a richness that can only be the gift of Grace. Thank you for your forthrightness – it is here, by bearing our souls, that we come closer to Him and each other.


  • Donna

    I have an uncle w/ schitzophrenia. He has 2 ‘friends’ he communicates with throughout the day in his own little world. He also loves the Lord and prays more than anyone i’ve ever met. He asks everyone he sees if they have the gift of miracles, and has some requests. The Lord has not answered his miracle requests, but the Lord has definitely moved through Duane to show the rest of some things about faith and perseverence.

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