Monthly Archives: March 2011

Closer

When I was a little boy I was so afraid of the dark. So much so that I would be laying in bed and have to pee and well I wouldn’t go cause I was sure there was something out there to get me. I would hold it to point of no return and then bolt down to the end of the hall where the bathroom was and flip on the light, “Safe”. I had this fear of monsters as a child. Maybe one to many shows on TV that I wasn’t suppose to be watching. I was just scared of the things I didn’t know. I would do my business and then look back down the hall to see if anything was out there. It would take me a while to build up the courage to run back, being I had a little less motivation than my reasoning for going to the bathroom in the first place. Eventually I would build up the nerve and take off running back for my bedroom. I was so sure that what ever was out there, that was trying to get me had moved from the hallway to under my bed. I would run full force and then leap, “landing safe” yet again.

 

I don’t really have a lot of memories of ever really calling out for help. I think I had this underlining thought that I wasn’t suppose to be scared of things that weren’t really there. I still was though.

 

As I have gotten older my not wanting to call out for help hasn’t changed much. I don’t know why hiding from the things that hurt and scare us are so natural. I have found that God is the only healing force that gets me through the monsters of life yet it takes everything in me to believe that. I’m trying to learn to let go and trust and most importantly draw closer to God.

 

I was going through one of the darkest and scariest times in my life these last few years. Peering down the old dark hallway wondering if there would still be love on the other side. I was sitting with a friend of mine talking about the darkness we find our selves in, and we could only come to one common ground, that the only way out of darkness is to draw near to light, it is to draw near to the life giver so that our lives can be healed.

 

I named my new record and my song closer for a reason. Even though closer is such a simple thought it is one of the most vital point of our faith. I think that God desires our closeness with him much more than we realize. Where we spend our time is what makes us who we are. I don’t know about you but I want life and I want it in abundance, making closer why I live.