Well its been a really long time since I blogged. And when I say a long time I mean upwards of 6 years. Writing for me is sort of a way for me to vent and release my thoughts on this thing we call life. But that’s just it. “Life Happens” and then the darkness sets in, the fear whispers to us, and the silence follows. I started believing that my life had nothing to offer. Fear robs us of who we truly are, who we can become, who we want to be. Fear is a THIEF! We sit in the shadows believing we have nothing to give. What if I try and I fail? What if I give it my everything and it just isn’t good enough? What if? But what if it’s not about any this. When we were young we ran in to everything Wide Eyed and Open armed. Maybe it was because we had not felt life’s sting yet. Until life truly happens we feel as if we are invincible. But any of us that have gone through the darkness know this to not be true. We are truly frail beings.
The last few years have been scary. Some months not even knowing how we will pay our bills and just when I think it can’t possibly get any scarier it does. The life of a musician and creative is not for everyone.
What is this dream I’m chasing with all of me? Is it really worth it? Am I only seeing what’s on the other side of the fence? What is this passion that is burning so bright in me? Why can’t I just quit? But we all know that if we give up on our dreams then apart of who we are will die as well. See it’s within our dreams that hope and faith birth. We pursue because of the “what if?”. I have never wanted to be famous. Fame scares me to death. I don’t write music so I can be an entertainer. It’s hard to entertain and be honest! Song writing is healing for me. At the end of the day we are only accountable for our own lives. Its not a competition to be better than others but a hope to be the best version of our selves. And maybe in being the best version of ourselves we will help others find theirs.
As I pursue a new record, I’m faced with a lot of questions. What will this moment look like? What will these songs sound like? I wish I could fully answer these questions but I’m not sure I will be able to until I’m in the thick of it. I know one thing though. It will be honest and human. It will be full of darkness and light. I am moving towards Organic sounds and production. I don’t really care if these songs make it on the radio. I would rather someone just give them to a friend then chase corporate formula. I hope they heal! I hope they are full of life.
The reality of making music is that it takes a lot of resources, and up until this point I have never really thought twice about it because I had a Record Label funding all of it. But that is not where I am at today. It’s just me now. No one is helping. So that is why I’m reaching out to you. I need your help and the fear in me says don’t ask. I’m not looking for a hand out. I’m asking you to join me and believe that greatness is possible. That when we put our whole hearts and minds into something that beauty will be the final result.
Thanks so much!
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